I love my new job!!!

I am part of Watson Pharmaceuticals' Corporate Product Development Research and Development group of scientists.  Wow, that's sort of a mouthful.  LOL.  I think just the change from Adamson's lame-ass excuse for a lab makes me so much happier.  For the first time in such a long time, I feel truly proud of myself.  Having accomplished something is the best feeling in the world.  I really missed it.  On top of that, my dad let's me know how proud of me his is.  I've always wanted to be in a position where I could take care of my family if anything ever happened, and now I can also help my dad pay for stuff especially since he's given me so much friggin money in college.  I think I drained the family funds during my crazy UCLA days going snowboarding and bungeee jumping and whatnot.  LOL, I wasted so much money. 

I'm so proud of Franny as well.  He's one of the top guys in his class, and I think he's going to make it.  When the dropout rate is pretty much a consistent 85% throughout the history of this program, I'm really saying a lot when I say he's at the top of his class. Of course, there is one more (literal) hell week left to know for sure whether he's going to pass.  I have faith in him though.  He's come so far since a year ago. 

Well, now that the skrilla is finally rollin' in, I can finally save up for the wedding I should've had a year ago.  Jeez, I'm so bad with saving money though.  I need to control myself.  **sigh**  

Inside the BUD/s compound.

OMG, Franny got so dark.

Sometimes I go about in pity for myself and all the while a great wind carries me across the sky.

-Ojibwe saying

I'm so happy...Cuz today I found my friends...  --Nirvana

It's going to be hard being a military wife.

Sometimes when I'm lying awake next to Franny, listening to him snore, I find myself thinking, "Just remember this moment because there will be a time when he'll be gone for six months...or more."  Well, not remembering the snoring part, but just being next to the man I love.  (Actually, I've been having to kick him because he chokes on his super loud snores...jeez.)

I don't know if it's mostly because I'm female, but I often worry too much about the future.  Usually I'll imagine the worst case scenarios so vividly that it can end up making me a bit teary-eyed.  I've pictured in my head countless times an image where I'm hugging him goodbye, and that's the last I ever see of him.  Then when I snap out of it, I get sporadically affectionate to which he'll respond,"What's wrong with you? Are you okay? Why are you being so nice to me?"  He probably thinks I'm so weird.  Better weird than normal though.

The silver lining to this dismal cloud of thoughts is knowing that we'll never take each other for granted.  It's certainly not easy being married to someone who is gone most of the time, but when we do see each other, it's the most awesome feeling.  When people are always around, it's easy to forget how important they are to our lives.  It's only when they are gone that we truly understand their value. 

So maybe I'm luckier than most for seeing that now.

HAPPY NEW YEARS!